On Giving Charity

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Nor is just ten years old. But don’t be fooled by his tender age. He has already won the Responsible Global Citizens Award for earning the highest credits on the Consumption and Waste Contribution Program. He had been eyeing the coveted award for the last two years and now his success has turned him into quite a star in his neighbourhood and school for this extraordinary work of charity.

Thousands of people across the developed nations have signed up for this program, aimed at providing much-needed aid to the less fortunate parts of the world. It goes without saying that it is the single-largest, consumer-driven, humanitarian, global endeavour to  alleviate hunger,curable diseases and lack of proper clothing and shelter from the poorer nations.

According to the award winning economist,Tim Smith,

Capitalism’s current success lies in the proper hybridization of consumerism with sacred virtues of charity and cooperation.

To qualify for this Program, you need to download the Consumption and Waste Contribution App(CWCA) available on all platforms.There are two types of Credits that you can earn:1.Consumption Credit and 2.Disposal Credit

1. Consumption Credit: It is the credit that you can earn when you buy a product.Whenever you buy from places like McMickeys or Sunbucks, 1% of the money will go to various charity organisations.What’s more, you earn a full 10 credit points in your CWCA.

The more you consume, the more credits you gain and the more charitable activity you can pride yourself with.

https://i1.wp.com/media.treehugger.com/assets/images/2011/10/conspicuous-consumption-i-shop-therefore-i-am.jpg

Also, don’t forget to like and share their products on your SNSs. You earn 1 credits per like and 5 for a share.

2. Disposal Credit: Now this is where the real genius of the Program comes into play.As we all know, in 2020, in a massive undertaking, the multi-billion dollar Sewage and Household Waste Corridor was constructed, diverting all waste products to the under-developed world.

Despite protestations by several, mostly ignorant “activists”, scientific researches have categorically concluded that sewage and household food wastes, though undesirable to us, contains several nutrients which can sustain those living in despicable poverty.

It is thus, our responsibility to consume,urinate and defecate as much as possible. The principle of charity here, is of course,

“Giving anything is better than nothing, even if it’s shit”.

To earn credits, just use the Creditor Biometric Screener to confirm your identity in the washroom and garbage bins.


“….charity degrades and demoralises… Charity creates a multitude of sins.”-  Oscar Wilde

Charity and Cultural Capitalism:


 

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The Dorm

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It was seven in the evening. Petal was sitting comfortably on his bed in his dorm room, on the ninth floor. His exams have just ended and he is looking forward to his internship at a start up.He has just a week to himself, to relax and meditate.

The day had been cloudy–raining sporadically. Now, with the Sun almost setting, casting a golden-red hue over the cloudy sky and regular gusts of strong wind darting in uninvited to his room, Petal’s thoughts wandered quickly to the days long gone.

He lives in a foreign land now. He has long forgotten what his homeland looked like, the peculiarity with which his people behaved. All he is left with is a collection of hazy images. He doesn’t miss any of that though. He is fairly content with the Now.He wouldn’t have it any other way. But what bothers him is the past which he had lived vividly but is no longer so clear anymore. And what about those years before he was 4 yrs old? He has almost no recollection of that time. In fact, the memories are too few in numbers, suspiciously few.

The more he thinks about it,the more uncomfortable he gets:

When was I born?

1991 of course…

But, I don’t remember being born!

Well,there is your birth certificate…

Documents can be faked.And I don’t remember even my parents’ faces before I was 3/4 yrs old. What if they are not my “real” parents?

What!? Stop talking such nonsense!

No.Seriously. What if I was never “born”? What if I had been alive all along?

Come on! You know how a child is born. When a mommy and a daddy love each other very much….

No no, that’s not it. Remember when your relatives sometimes see you and say,”Wow! I can’t believe how much you have grown up buddy!The last time I saw you, you were thiss small.”

What if they are right? What if we really are older than we think we are?What if sections of our lives are erased from our memory for some purpose?Times when we are refitted with key information and guide for our future planned life.

Oh! Are you talking about some Simulating God?

No.I am thinking of some clandestine group of people who decide what we remember and what our role in this world should be,they decide for our surrogate parents and life partners,for our education, wealth and vocation.

 You are just insane!

Well of course you people would think like that. Why else do you think they put me in here?

The clock struck nine.Petal got off from his bed and looked out of the grilled window of his 6 x 8 room on the ninth floor of the mental institution,which he called The Dorm.

“Time for dinner”,he thought and waited eagerly for the pizza which he had ordered last year.

The Scream by Edvard Munch, 1893Image: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Scream#mediaviewer/File:The_Scream.jpg

Featured Image: http://www.panoramio.com/photo/21969991