On Giving Charity

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Nor is just ten years old. But don’t be fooled by his tender age. He has already won the Responsible Global Citizens Award for earning the highest credits on the Consumption and Waste Contribution Program. He had been eyeing the coveted award for the last two years and now his success has turned him into quite a star in his neighbourhood and school for this extraordinary work of charity.

Thousands of people across the developed nations have signed up for this program, aimed at providing much-needed aid to the less fortunate parts of the world. It goes without saying that it is the single-largest, consumer-driven, humanitarian, global endeavour to  alleviate hunger,curable diseases and lack of proper clothing and shelter from the poorer nations.

According to the award winning economist,Tim Smith,

Capitalism’s current success lies in the proper hybridization of consumerism with sacred virtues of charity and cooperation.

To qualify for this Program, you need to download the Consumption and Waste Contribution App(CWCA) available on all platforms.There are two types of Credits that you can earn:1.Consumption Credit and 2.Disposal Credit

1. Consumption Credit: It is the credit that you can earn when you buy a product.Whenever you buy from places like McMickeys or Sunbucks, 1% of the money will go to various charity organisations.What’s more, you earn a full 10 credit points in your CWCA.

The more you consume, the more credits you gain and the more charitable activity you can pride yourself with.

https://i1.wp.com/media.treehugger.com/assets/images/2011/10/conspicuous-consumption-i-shop-therefore-i-am.jpg

Also, don’t forget to like and share their products on your SNSs. You earn 1 credits per like and 5 for a share.

2. Disposal Credit: Now this is where the real genius of the Program comes into play.As we all know, in 2020, in a massive undertaking, the multi-billion dollar Sewage and Household Waste Corridor was constructed, diverting all waste products to the under-developed world.

Despite protestations by several, mostly ignorant “activists”, scientific researches have categorically concluded that sewage and household food wastes, though undesirable to us, contains several nutrients which can sustain those living in despicable poverty.

It is thus, our responsibility to consume,urinate and defecate as much as possible. The principle of charity here, is of course,

“Giving anything is better than nothing, even if it’s shit”.

To earn credits, just use the Creditor Biometric Screener to confirm your identity in the washroom and garbage bins.


“….charity degrades and demoralises… Charity creates a multitude of sins.”-  Oscar Wilde

Charity and Cultural Capitalism:


 

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